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Looking back to last friday, everything in my life was perfect. It was just like everyother day. Except it wasn't. My uncle and his two brothers were up north. Neal {my uncle}, Scott, and Rick. My Uncle Neal was out hunting and Scott and Rick were out on the snowmobiles. Scott got ahead of Rick. My Uncle Neal went back to the cabin and so did Rick. They realized Scott wasn't there so they went out to look for him. They ended up finding his snowmobile crashed into a tree and his body thirty feet from it. {He was dead}. They carried his body back to be loaded into the ambulance. While they were preceding to ask my Uncle Neal questions he said he was feeling a little short of breath and needed to sit down. There was so much stress from the shock of losing his brother that he ended up having a massive heart attack and dying as well. I can't even begin to describe how i felt when i heard this. I can't eat or sleep. I dont know what to think. I keep thinking that i'm gonna see him tomorrow or go visit him in the hospital, but thats not it. He's never coming back. never. I wont get to play black jack with him anymore, I wont get to go to the fireworks by his house on fourth of July. He wont get to see me graduate or get married. He wont get to see his own son get his license in a few months, be there for his graduation, or see either of his sons' get married. My Uncle was the nicest, funnest, most outgoing, beautiful person i have ever met. It's hard to even write this with out crying, but i want some type of writing to look back on. I miss him so much. His fifteen and eighteen year old son miss him so much. They're not only losing a father, but a friend. Christmas Eve was one of my favorite times of the year just because we would all meet up at my Grandma's and have such a great time. This Christmas Eve everything will be changed. My uncle, the life and entertainment, wont be there. I miss him so much. God, do i miss him..and the only thing i can ask is why? Why our family? Why only a couple days before christmas? It killed me walking into his house to clean out everything and seeing his stocking hanging on the door and knowing this Christmas it will go unused. Tomorrow and Thursday are his viewings, and Friday is his funeral. I just pray I can get through this. I pray our family can get through this.
"Sunny days seem to hurt the most. I wear the pain like a heavy coat. I feel you everywhere I go. I see your smile, I see your face, I hear you laughin in the rain. I still can't believe you're gone. It ain't fair: you died too young, like the story that had just begun, but death tore the pages all away. God knows how I miss you, all the hell I've been through, just knowin' no-one could take your place."
RIP Uncle Neal and Scott; 12-17-05<3 always remember
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falseh0pe311's journal
calm
